"if you cared enough"

this post has been pending for some time now but somehow never got around to penning it down until now...

if you cared enough
you would have remembered
you wouldn't have done it
you wouldn't have said that
you would have called
you wouldn't have left

'n the list goes on...

"if you cared enough, then you would/wouldn't have done this...", will probably be the standard template for one of the most uttered dialogs during(causing?) disagreements in any relationship.

Its a loaded statement, often intended to induce guilt and remorse in the other person, used with care you can achieve the results that you want through it. But it can also be a very damage causing statement in a relationship, more so when its not voiced out 'n is eating away at your heart. And whats worse is the other person would've no clue whats eating you.

Now, the answer to why this statement arises is no rocket science - mismatch of expectations due to miscommunication. Well, expectations is a big topic in itself...hmm...i rem writing on it during some unix class in engineering :D, should go search if i still have it... darn so much for my resolution to not get side-tracked :(

Coming back, at the root of it is the every human's innate need to be cared for. Don't all of us just love the notion of having someone to care for us? Seriously its amazing how so many people base their life actions on this. For eg: I often hear my smoker friends saying that they wouldn't smoke(so much) if they had a girl friend. The powerful idea to be noted here is that if someone was there to care then they would go to great lengths to please or not disappoint them.
Its another matter that personally i don't understand it at all, how you can give up smoking for a girlfriend but not for parents. Actually forget parents also, i feel if at all you want to give up smoking it should come from within, from self-love and nothing else. If you really like smoking and don't care a fig for your health then please go ahead and continue to smoke. To give it up for someone else is as insane an idea as say the idea to give up chocolates for someone else if you were a chocolate lover...

Hmm...before i got sidetracked yet again with that smoking bit...we were talking about caring. I love chocolates but don't care for them. On the other hand if you cared for the environment you wouldn't use plastic bags. It doesn't take much to get that its not love but caring that drives any relationship.

Yeah 'm not talking anything new in here that you didn't already know but what amazes is how many of us are still prey to it...he he, talking of prey, reminded me of something i had blogged long time back -

"Embrace apathy,
You will feel better"

now that is a nice solution, if you could adopt it... :)

Anyways ending with the ending dialog of many such if you care discussions-

"If you cared, you would understand"

which results in a stalemate and from caring it then enters into the compromise domain.

Beauty

To use Ricky's words:

"I realized there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in."

which also happens to be one of my all time fave dialogs. Sometimes i feel are we really that different from Ricky; ain't we all psychos in our own l'il way? Anyways let me not go on that track now.

Morning, randomly picked a video to watch on my ipod, while traveling to work and it happened to be a TED talk by Gregory Colbert. Absolute Brilliance, is all i can say! Tried finding the video to embed here but google gave me a dead link :(, so you guys will have to pretty much find that video on your own, but trust me its just amazing! You can explore more on this ashes and snow website, but sadly there's not much video footage, so its better you watch the TED video first.

The next video happened to be Cultures at the far edge of the world by Wade Davis. Another beautiful video this one. He makes a case for preserving the indigenous cultures, stopping the ethnocide thats happening at an alarming rate in the world. A must watch for all of us human beings.

Evening, on my way back, while looking for something interesting to watch in ipod, came across something titled pilobolus, clicked on it and it turned out to be this very beautiful, mind-blowing performance titled Symbiosis by a dance troupe called Pilobus. A note of caution though, some may find it offensive, so don't blame me later for not warning before.

So, that was the day, somehow felt like the 3 videos were all linked somehow...all the beauty twice, i mean thrice again... :) , for ppl who didn't get the connection, all the beauty twice again is a nice song from novembers doom.
2:50am and i better stop...

Adios